Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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