Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
