Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
