and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
