You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
we made out on top of his cat.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize