Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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