WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
