I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
