Are we in a gay sports bar?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts