I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one