Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
