it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just sucked dick on a ferry