So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?