I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
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