I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
