Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
