seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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