bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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