i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
