I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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