you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
