Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Randomize
