Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
