Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I am available for nakedness
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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