Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
i need some magic done to my vagina
You were trust falling into bushes
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
