I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
