I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
