People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
