I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
only if we run a train.
done.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
