If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize