So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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