ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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