im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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