dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
ugly people sure do ruin things
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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