I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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