I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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