I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
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did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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