Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
