We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
