Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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