I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
