Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
