small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Alive.
So much puke
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
