He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Randomize
