alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
