bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
