You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Randomize
