I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
