Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
