Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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