Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
