she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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