Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
