he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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