did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize