Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Only a mothe r could love this liver
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
