He is such a slut. More and more my type.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Rumble strips road head = magical
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
