That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
last night I used snow as a chaser
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