considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
