Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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