Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
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she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
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so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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