Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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