Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
