Banned from zoo.
Again?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize