If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
