I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize