no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
