So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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