FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Found the puke drawer
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
