should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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