You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
