We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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