I want to stick my p in your. b.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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